


Fear And Loathing In Middle-Earth

by gardnerhill



Category: Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Challenge Response, Crack, Double Drabble, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2012-12-10
Packaged: 2017-11-20 19:08:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/588678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardnerhill/pseuds/gardnerhill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We can't stop here, man. This is killer-tree country.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear And Loathing In Middle-Earth

**Author's Note:**

> Entry for the LOTR LJ comm ToilandDrouble for the challenge to write a 200-word LOTR pastiche in the style of another author. I selected the late great Hunter S. Thompson.

We were just outside of Buckland on the edge of the Old Forest when the mushrooms kicked in. We stopped for a drink; I lit up and passed the Old Toby to Sam. We’d been on the Road for days, and we had another hundred miles or so to go before we’d be in Rivendell. “Think we should stop for the night?” I asked Frodo, and that’s when the goddamn tree attacked us, swooping down on us and yanking Pippin down with a yelp. Sam went into the water.

“Jesus!” Frodo shouted. “What the hell is going on?”

I nudged Frodo. “Do you see that?”

Frodo had a beatific stoned look on his face. “The Man with the blue hat and yellow boots dancing up and down and singing to the willow tree? Yeah, I see him too.”

The tree released Pippin and Sam and quit moving. The Man skipped over to us, singing. “Hey dol merry do, ring a dong dillo!” 

I handed him the pipe; he’d clearly been sampling Farmer Maggot’s finest too. 

He invited us to his place for the night, and we agreed. We all wanted to try this _goldberry_ he said he had back there.


End file.
